Well, I got the results today and they were not good. The cancer is back again. My doctor said the only way to possibly get rid of it is to do more radiation. However, we do not know if it is even possible to do more, because I have already had the maximum amount of radiation I can have... I meet with a different radiation oncologist tomorrow to see what he thinks he can do if anything.
Either way I will begin a different intervenous chemo and Herceptin. This treatment will only help control the cancer. With only this treatment and not the radiation I am looking on chemo until the end of my life which is measured in months to years rather then in years. This does not settle well with me.
I am going to be blatantly honest. I am furious. I do not think it is fair that I am only 30 years old and have a 2 year old baby and my life is going to be cut short. I can't bear to think about leaving my baby. I want to see her grow up. I want to be here to teach her, love her, train her, cherish her. I don't even know how to think right now. I can't even believe this is happening!
I was not expecting to hear that I may not have long to live. I was fully expecting to hear the cancer had returned, but figured there was some kind of chemo or something that could take care of it. I am angry, hurt, sad, devastated, and confused right now.
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