While marking some important verses I came across a verse I have known for years, but on this day it struck me with its complete meaning and convicted me for not following it. Here is the section I am referring to:
I Thessalonians 5:16-18
16Rejoice evermore.
17Pray without ceasing.
18In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
Verse 18 struck me... "In EVERYTHING give thanks"
it does not say in all good things give thanks, it says in EVERYTHING. There is no other meaning for this word but all... everything... all inclusive. Nothing is left out. We are to thank God for Everything.
When we thank God it is for the good things He gives us. We are more then willing to thank Him for the money He provides, the blessings He gives, but what about all the rest? I was so convicted when I read this and immediately my cancer came to mind. I have been fighting this cancer for almost 3 years, and in all those years not once have I thanked God for my cancer. I have thanked Him for the good results of some tests, for providing the money needed to cover medical bills, for family and friends helping out and lending a hand... but I have never thanked Him for my cancer.
I bowed my head right then and asked God to forgive me for not being thankful in all things. Then I told Him thank you for giving me this cancer. The concept, I know, sounds out of place and not right, but He commands this for a reason. When I thanked Him, a peace settled on me that I have not had in all this time. I knew I was doing the right thing. It is a work in progress as I take back my thanks when I feel bad, and then I have to again give it back to God and thank Him again. It is work, we are not used to being thankful for bad things... I don't understand why God wants us to give thanks for even the bad things, but He didn't say give thanks for good things He said in EVERYTHING give thanks. In every situation, every area, every piece of us give thanks.
I have also been reading a book that references to Paul and his thorn in the flesh and how Paul took pleasure in it. After asking God to take it away many times he changed his attitude and took pleasure in it. He chose to find the good in it. I have tried to look only on the blessings during this time, but that is a hard thing to do all the time. There are times I want to bemoan my state and continue begging for my life. Although it is okay for me to ask God to take away my cancer, I also have to thank Him for it and take pleasure in it. I have to accept that this is my thorn and I may never be rid of it. I have to give it to God and not dwell on the negative.
I also look at Jesus and how he begged God to take this cup from Him... He didn't want to have to suffer death and taking on the sins of all man... but He was willing to do what was God's will. This gives me a good picture of what I am supposed to do. It is okay for me to cry my heart out and beg God to take this away, but in the end I have to accept whatever His will is for my life.
I thank God for my cancer... without it I would not have met some of the wonderful people I have had the privilege of meeting, nor been blessed by so many people and in so many ways. I would not have touched the lives of the many people I have come in contact with. I would not have learned the many hard and wonderful lessons God has taught me in this fight. My doctor's would not have been able to see the hand of God as He chose to make the cancer shrink when they thought I would be dying. (although they do not outright admit it was God I know they know what I think and can't help but think that gets to them somehow) My friends and family would not have been blessed with answers to prayers as God continually would answer a prayer for help here and a plea for health there...
God knows everything... we can not understand His ways for He is not of this world.. but in faith we can accept what He requires of us and we can willingly chose to follow His will and be blessed beyond measure.
I am way past the time my doctor said I would have. According to her I would have been gone last year around this time, but God had different plans. I will continue to fight as He gives me strength. I want to be here to watch my baby grow, but I have to accept the fact that He may not have that in the plans for me. I pray I have many more years, but continue to have this horrible gut feeling that I don't have much time before the cancer takes over.. BUT I do not know God's will only He does. I will continue to put it into His hands and trust Him.
Thank you God for all your blessings, for the cancer you allowed me to have, for my family and friends who surround me with love and prayers. Thank you for all things you have done and will continue to do in my life and the life of my family. Thank you for everything!
