I've been reading this book "The boy who came back from heaven". It is about a boy who was injured in a car accident... he was actually killed and brought back. While he was in a coma his parents and many more people were praying for him around the clock. They not only believed God could heal him they knew He was going to heal him. They had complete faith that he would be healed. The dad had occasional doubts and fears but heard that still small voice telling him he would be healed.
I don't know how much of this book is real or not, but do have to say when reading it I do believe what they experienced and that God used this boy to show His power. They battled against Satan's attacks... and I know this is real as I have experienced some of these as well. Whenever things seem to be going well and God is being glorified Satan is there to bring doubt, fear, corruption... he doesn't want God to win.
Throughout this battle I have prayed so many times for God to heal me. I have prayed believing that He can heal me, but knowing that He may chose not too. Reading this book makes me wonder if I am wrong or right... is it wrong for me to know that God may choose not to heal me when I pray for healing.... or is it wrong to pray for God's healing and expect Him to do it because I believe He will? I don't really know the answer to this. I guess for me it has always boiled down to this: I do not know God's will. I KNOW He can heal me. I believe that if He chose to, He could heal me right now. I have faith that He can heal me, and I pray and hope that He does. Yet, I do not give myself false hope and tell myself that I know He WILL heal me. He has not come to me in that still small voice and told me have no fear I am going to heal you. I have not received anything like that, but I continue to pray for healing. There are times when things are looking better and I think He is going to do it, but then things get worse again... who am I to know the Will of God concerning this? Unless He tells me or gives me such strong belief I don't think I can have that knowledge.
Today I sat down and made a list of every sin I could think of that I may not have confessed so I could have a clean slate and KNOW that my prayer was being heard. While doing this my phone rang, then I got a text message... Satan was ready to interfere. I openly rebuked Satan and told him in the name of Jesus to leave me alone. I was then able to finish my prayer. I had a clean slate and felt so good. Then later I was trying to get photos edited to print at a store and had some plans fall through last minute (I found out via text) then it took way longer to do the photos, my husband was waiting at home with dinner, my daughter was throwing a fit that I wasn't there, and the order wouldn't go through! I was tired, sore, and so hungry my stomach was upset. No matter what we were trying it wouldn't work. Finally I again out loud rebuked the devil and wouldn't you know it went through. He is actively fighting us my friends. In little things, in big things, in anything to make us sin, to give us a bad day, to interfere with ministry. In anyway he can he is there to mess us up. I have found when these things happen I have to out loud rebuke him to leave me and my home in the name of Jesus and surprise, surprise things get better!
I think we don't want to think about Satan being around us, but he is here and like a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom he may devour. He doesn't want us to succeed. He doesn't want us serving the Lord. He wants us tired so we more easily sin. Fight him... know that he is there and rebuke him. God has given us that power through His sons name! He will use whatever means he can to fight us. His arsenal is large, but so is ours. We have Jesus on our side. Think about this next time you are having a bad day and things are going wrong. Think about this when you are easily sinning because of it, and stop, as Jesus to forgive you. Then tell that rotten devil to get behind you in the name of Jesus Christ! Take control of your life... take it back from the devil.
I have asked my pastor to get together another prayer session for me. It has been a couple years since anyone has laid hands on me and prayed for healing. There is power in prayer and I believe power in group prayer. All I asked is that anyone willing to pray over me would confess their sins to God and make sure they have a clean slate before God so that He can actually hear their prayers. I think this is very important and people often forget. God can not hear our prayers with sin between us. I also think it is important that I make sure I am pure before God as well. I want this prayer time to be POWERFUL! I want to feel the presence of God among us, and I pray that God will give us the confidence of His will for me.
Keep praying, God is moving and working. He has kept me much healthier then I ever expected. He has provided for us in so many ways. He has given me strength when in reality I should be weak. He has given me the power and energy to care for my child on my own throughout this battle.
He has blessed and will continue to bless as you all pray for me. Prayer is so powerful and it is something all of us as Christians can do!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Disney World... Magical Wonderland!
I applied to several foundations trying to get a "last wish" granted. I wanted to have the chance to take Kenzie to Disney World. She has always loved Mickey Mouse, and I knew we would all enjoy seeing Disney World as a family.
Two foundations worked together to provide a 5 day vacation for us. One provided airline tickets and 1 day passes to Disney World. The other provided 2 days at Universal Studios and 1 day at Sea World and our hotel stay. Plus, a friend I haven't seen since a young girl, contacted a company she had worked for who provided the base charge for our rental car. On top of all that the 2 foundations gave us spending money for incidentals and the gentleman who brought the package to us donated $200 Disney credit cards so we could go to Disney another day, but a friend of a friend of a friend (LOL) worked at Disney and got us in another day. So, we were able to use the credit cards on toys and memory items for Mackenzie. We also had a friend and my mother-in-law give us some spending money as well. It was such a huge blessing for God to provide in such wonderful ways.
We flew out on Sunday afternoon. The flights went well, and Mackenzie enjoyed the ride. Unfortunately, she had an upset stomach shortly after we landed and ended up throwing up as we were picking up supplies after getting our rental car, but we picked up some water and snacks at Walmart, picked up some supper, and settled into the hotel before falling into bed excited for our next day when we would be heading to Disney World. Dean woke us up at 7am (which is 6am in our time zone). We got ready quickly, ate breakfast, and excitedly made our way to Disney. Since our first day the tickets were just to one park we chose Magic Kingdom. We took the ferry over and were able to enjoy seeing the castle from afar!
Once we landed and went through security, we walked right into a Mickey Parade. Mackenzie was so excited and wiggled out of Dean's arms so she could run up to Mickey's float. She was so upset that she couldn't "hug and kiss him", but no one was allowed close to the floats. We got up there in time for Mickey's float to stop. They were performing to a song and dancing. She refused to dance. Instead she waved and waved and continued to wave at Mickey until he finally waved back! It was so adorable.
After the parade went by we went on the carousel... which is always her favorite ride anywhere we go. Then we continued on to the teacups... which she had been talking about for months. She wanted to ride on the pink teacup, and we were actually able to get the pink cup! I have pictures of her adorable face smiling as big as can be as Dean spun us around really fast. She thought it was just great.
We were able to see a show in front of the castle with Mickey, Minnie, and the princess' and princes. It was so magical and had Kenzie totally enchanted. It was so beautiful and enjoyable. On our way out we walked right into another parade. This one was the princess' and princes. Each float was made as part of their story. It was so amazing to see it come to life before our eyes.
With the money donated we were able to let Mackenzie pick out toys, a princess hat, and a dress. She had a blast and was so happy to be picking things out! We left Disney World tired but happy. I was pretty beat, but was amazed a the strength God gave me to walk the entire day and enjoy all the rides with Mackenzie. Plus it was a beautiful day. It was only a high of 69 that day so we weren't submerged into scorching heat our first day. We found a good place to eat then again fell into bed that night.
We again woke up early the next day and made our way to Sea World. We got there in time to make our way right to the Shamu Show. Since I am technically disabled we were able to sit in the disabled seating area and have a good view of the show without getting drenched. I was so thankful to have a slower day as i was pretty sore and achy from the nonstop walking and standing at Disney.
The Shamu Show was absolutely awe inspiring! It was so amazing to see God's creatures perform. Their ability was magnificent! Between Dean and I we got some really good pictures of them jumping and some awesome video of their performance. Sea World did a fabulous job with the entire production between the whales, the music, and the background video it was enough to bring tears to my eyes and so much thankfulness in my heart for this amazing opportunity! Kenzie was just enthralled. She stared and smiled and cheered and never took her eyes off the whales!
After the show we practically ran to the other side of the park to go to the dolphin show... unfortunately by time we got there it was full. So we quickly made our way back to the other side where the Sea Lion show would be starting shortly. We were able to get good seats here as well, and enjoyed watching the Mime entertain before the show began. He was so funny and even Kenzie got a kick out of him. The sea lions were also very funny. The entire show was entertaining and hilarious.
We were able to enjoy some dolphin antics and touch the sting rays. Plus we got to see a ton of cool sea animals and fish in their exhibits. We were so excited about catching all this that we didn't even realize we missed the penguin exhibit and the polar bears! We were already gone before we realized we forgot to find those. We did make a trip to the beach this night but by time we got there it was already dark. Since we were already there though we did walk a few minutes in the dark... by flashlight of course!
We again dropped into bed this night and got up early again the next day. By this time I was getting pretty wore down and knew I wouldn't make it through too much more before falling apart.. or at least I felt like I was going to fall to pieces. This was Universal Studios day. When we picked up our tickets this day we were given a medical assistance pass... I didn't know we would be receiving this and it was such a blessing! This meant we didn't have to stand in line. We were able to get to the front of the line on all rides!
First up, Shrek 4D! None of us had ever been to a 3D or 4D movie and we were excited to see it. We were ushered to a back room to sit until it was time to enter the theater... I was so thankful for this as my feet felt like they were going to break into tiny pieces and my back was so sore! As we entered they gave us our glasses and ushered us to the front row! We had amazing seats. Kenzie loved it and didn't even act upset as she was sprayed with "snot" from Donkey's sneeze and splattered with "acid" as the dragon roared! She thought it was awesome! She laughed and screamed and kept those glasses on the whole time!
We walked around for a while after this enjoying the "city" they built then went to the attached park to see Dr. Seuss' land. That was super cool! We rode on another carousel and on a water ride called "One fish two fish red fish blue fish". Kenzie wanted to get wet so I kept steering into the water sprays. We went on a train ride through Dr. Seuss' park which was really neat. It let us see what was all in the park from above. There were a couple other parks that had play areas that Kenzie really enjoyed!
We were actually done at an early enough time this day to make it to a beach before sunset! We drove to Daytona Beach and had an hour to walk the shore line and play in the waves! We really enjoyed this relaxing time and Kenzie loved the waves and chasing the birds.
The next and final day was Disney again. By this point I could hardly walk so I had to break down and rent a wheel chair. I was happy that I made it this far without one though! And I was able to do much more with the help of a wheel chair so it was well worth it. We started at Epcot. The sweet lady who got us in took us to the meet and greet area so we could take pictures with Disney and friends. We stood in line for 40 minutes, but it was soooo worth it. Kenzie was so happy to see them and hugged and kissed each one! She was so adorable, and it made her trip as this was what she said she wanted to do since she found out we were going. We got some good pictures and I can't wait to scrapbook them! After Epcot we went to Animal Kingdom where we immediately got fast pass tickets to get on the safari. This was a cool experience to see the animals walking around while we drove by. We also went to the 3D movie "It's hard to be a bug" which was inside the "tree of life". If you haven't been to Disney this tree is so cool. It isn't real but looks real and is absolutely huge. You can see this tree as soon as you walk in the park and it is in the center of the park. They made such intricate designs on the trunk it was so gorgeous. We loved this movie too as we smelled the stink from a stink bug and was sprayed again and stung in the back by hornets! So fun and entertaining!
So if it wasn't clear at all... we loved this trip! We were exhausted but so happy! We came home with wonderful memories and hundreds of pictures taken! I can't wait to develop those pictures and make Kenzie a scrapbook of our trip. We are grateful to all those who helped make this trip possible, and so thankful for the time and ability to make this trip!
I am positive God was with me on this trip. I know many prayed and I could feel those prayers. Typically I am exhausted and can't do a whole lot during a day. I may be able to walk for an hour or so but then need to rest. On this trip I was able to walk and stay on my feet for the whole day for 4 days... although the last day I did need a wheel chair I still could tell that God was giving me the strength to not only make it through the days but enjoy every last bit of it. I did still have pain, but it was bearable. I find this to be a small miracle in and of itself!
Now the Dream is over and we are home and continuing with life as it was before, but with some wonderful new memories and a brief break from our new normal. I continued chemo the week after I got back and felt like I was going back to a job that I absolutely hate and dread, but it is what I have to do to fight this thing.
Thank you all who helped and who prayed! Thank you for being a part of our dream!
Two foundations worked together to provide a 5 day vacation for us. One provided airline tickets and 1 day passes to Disney World. The other provided 2 days at Universal Studios and 1 day at Sea World and our hotel stay. Plus, a friend I haven't seen since a young girl, contacted a company she had worked for who provided the base charge for our rental car. On top of all that the 2 foundations gave us spending money for incidentals and the gentleman who brought the package to us donated $200 Disney credit cards so we could go to Disney another day, but a friend of a friend of a friend (LOL) worked at Disney and got us in another day. So, we were able to use the credit cards on toys and memory items for Mackenzie. We also had a friend and my mother-in-law give us some spending money as well. It was such a huge blessing for God to provide in such wonderful ways.
We flew out on Sunday afternoon. The flights went well, and Mackenzie enjoyed the ride. Unfortunately, she had an upset stomach shortly after we landed and ended up throwing up as we were picking up supplies after getting our rental car, but we picked up some water and snacks at Walmart, picked up some supper, and settled into the hotel before falling into bed excited for our next day when we would be heading to Disney World. Dean woke us up at 7am (which is 6am in our time zone). We got ready quickly, ate breakfast, and excitedly made our way to Disney. Since our first day the tickets were just to one park we chose Magic Kingdom. We took the ferry over and were able to enjoy seeing the castle from afar!
Once we landed and went through security, we walked right into a Mickey Parade. Mackenzie was so excited and wiggled out of Dean's arms so she could run up to Mickey's float. She was so upset that she couldn't "hug and kiss him", but no one was allowed close to the floats. We got up there in time for Mickey's float to stop. They were performing to a song and dancing. She refused to dance. Instead she waved and waved and continued to wave at Mickey until he finally waved back! It was so adorable.
After the parade went by we went on the carousel... which is always her favorite ride anywhere we go. Then we continued on to the teacups... which she had been talking about for months. She wanted to ride on the pink teacup, and we were actually able to get the pink cup! I have pictures of her adorable face smiling as big as can be as Dean spun us around really fast. She thought it was just great.
We were able to see a show in front of the castle with Mickey, Minnie, and the princess' and princes. It was so magical and had Kenzie totally enchanted. It was so beautiful and enjoyable. On our way out we walked right into another parade. This one was the princess' and princes. Each float was made as part of their story. It was so amazing to see it come to life before our eyes.
With the money donated we were able to let Mackenzie pick out toys, a princess hat, and a dress. She had a blast and was so happy to be picking things out! We left Disney World tired but happy. I was pretty beat, but was amazed a the strength God gave me to walk the entire day and enjoy all the rides with Mackenzie. Plus it was a beautiful day. It was only a high of 69 that day so we weren't submerged into scorching heat our first day. We found a good place to eat then again fell into bed that night.
We again woke up early the next day and made our way to Sea World. We got there in time to make our way right to the Shamu Show. Since I am technically disabled we were able to sit in the disabled seating area and have a good view of the show without getting drenched. I was so thankful to have a slower day as i was pretty sore and achy from the nonstop walking and standing at Disney.
The Shamu Show was absolutely awe inspiring! It was so amazing to see God's creatures perform. Their ability was magnificent! Between Dean and I we got some really good pictures of them jumping and some awesome video of their performance. Sea World did a fabulous job with the entire production between the whales, the music, and the background video it was enough to bring tears to my eyes and so much thankfulness in my heart for this amazing opportunity! Kenzie was just enthralled. She stared and smiled and cheered and never took her eyes off the whales!
After the show we practically ran to the other side of the park to go to the dolphin show... unfortunately by time we got there it was full. So we quickly made our way back to the other side where the Sea Lion show would be starting shortly. We were able to get good seats here as well, and enjoyed watching the Mime entertain before the show began. He was so funny and even Kenzie got a kick out of him. The sea lions were also very funny. The entire show was entertaining and hilarious.
We were able to enjoy some dolphin antics and touch the sting rays. Plus we got to see a ton of cool sea animals and fish in their exhibits. We were so excited about catching all this that we didn't even realize we missed the penguin exhibit and the polar bears! We were already gone before we realized we forgot to find those. We did make a trip to the beach this night but by time we got there it was already dark. Since we were already there though we did walk a few minutes in the dark... by flashlight of course!
We again dropped into bed this night and got up early again the next day. By this time I was getting pretty wore down and knew I wouldn't make it through too much more before falling apart.. or at least I felt like I was going to fall to pieces. This was Universal Studios day. When we picked up our tickets this day we were given a medical assistance pass... I didn't know we would be receiving this and it was such a blessing! This meant we didn't have to stand in line. We were able to get to the front of the line on all rides!
First up, Shrek 4D! None of us had ever been to a 3D or 4D movie and we were excited to see it. We were ushered to a back room to sit until it was time to enter the theater... I was so thankful for this as my feet felt like they were going to break into tiny pieces and my back was so sore! As we entered they gave us our glasses and ushered us to the front row! We had amazing seats. Kenzie loved it and didn't even act upset as she was sprayed with "snot" from Donkey's sneeze and splattered with "acid" as the dragon roared! She thought it was awesome! She laughed and screamed and kept those glasses on the whole time!
We walked around for a while after this enjoying the "city" they built then went to the attached park to see Dr. Seuss' land. That was super cool! We rode on another carousel and on a water ride called "One fish two fish red fish blue fish". Kenzie wanted to get wet so I kept steering into the water sprays. We went on a train ride through Dr. Seuss' park which was really neat. It let us see what was all in the park from above. There were a couple other parks that had play areas that Kenzie really enjoyed!
We were actually done at an early enough time this day to make it to a beach before sunset! We drove to Daytona Beach and had an hour to walk the shore line and play in the waves! We really enjoyed this relaxing time and Kenzie loved the waves and chasing the birds.
The next and final day was Disney again. By this point I could hardly walk so I had to break down and rent a wheel chair. I was happy that I made it this far without one though! And I was able to do much more with the help of a wheel chair so it was well worth it. We started at Epcot. The sweet lady who got us in took us to the meet and greet area so we could take pictures with Disney and friends. We stood in line for 40 minutes, but it was soooo worth it. Kenzie was so happy to see them and hugged and kissed each one! She was so adorable, and it made her trip as this was what she said she wanted to do since she found out we were going. We got some good pictures and I can't wait to scrapbook them! After Epcot we went to Animal Kingdom where we immediately got fast pass tickets to get on the safari. This was a cool experience to see the animals walking around while we drove by. We also went to the 3D movie "It's hard to be a bug" which was inside the "tree of life". If you haven't been to Disney this tree is so cool. It isn't real but looks real and is absolutely huge. You can see this tree as soon as you walk in the park and it is in the center of the park. They made such intricate designs on the trunk it was so gorgeous. We loved this movie too as we smelled the stink from a stink bug and was sprayed again and stung in the back by hornets! So fun and entertaining!
So if it wasn't clear at all... we loved this trip! We were exhausted but so happy! We came home with wonderful memories and hundreds of pictures taken! I can't wait to develop those pictures and make Kenzie a scrapbook of our trip. We are grateful to all those who helped make this trip possible, and so thankful for the time and ability to make this trip!
I am positive God was with me on this trip. I know many prayed and I could feel those prayers. Typically I am exhausted and can't do a whole lot during a day. I may be able to walk for an hour or so but then need to rest. On this trip I was able to walk and stay on my feet for the whole day for 4 days... although the last day I did need a wheel chair I still could tell that God was giving me the strength to not only make it through the days but enjoy every last bit of it. I did still have pain, but it was bearable. I find this to be a small miracle in and of itself!
Now the Dream is over and we are home and continuing with life as it was before, but with some wonderful new memories and a brief break from our new normal. I continued chemo the week after I got back and felt like I was going back to a job that I absolutely hate and dread, but it is what I have to do to fight this thing.
Thank you all who helped and who prayed! Thank you for being a part of our dream!
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