Hello Again! It has been quite a ride the last 2 1/2 years and I feel the need to re-hash what all has happened.
First I had my first child!!!
Then 6 months later I am diagnosed with a deadly cancer.
I complete my chemotherapy, have a double mastectomy, then have a maximum life dose of radiation. During this time my cancer returns... not good but not as bad as it could be because it is still stage III and not stage IV - which is considered uncurable.
After radiation I had 6 months of oral chemo.
Then 3 months later my cancer returns yet again. This time the news is very bad... the cancer had spread to my liver. This now makes me stage IV... the doctor gave me 6 months to live in October 2010. I am now at the 6 month mark and I am still fighting my butt off to beat this cancer.
After receiving the news of my shortened life schedule a friend told me about a clinic in Georgia that integrates traditional and non-traditional treatment. Since my oncologist did not have any hope to offer me and pretty much told me they could only continue chemo until my body shut down and could handle it no longer... more or less I'd die from the chemo before the cancer, I felt I had to try something else!
I went for my first treatment in January 2011. I was there for 6 weeks (an eternity without my baby girl!) During this time my white blood count plummeted and I was pretty sick for a couple of weeks. However, when I returned I had a PET scan and the treatment worked!!!! While receiving traditional chemotherapy with my oncologist my cancer was growing. In December I had 2 spots in my liver and one in my lung. After this treatment the 2 spots in the liver shrunk drastically and the one in the lung shrunk by half!
My oncologist decided to change the type of chemo to the ones I was receiving in GA since it was working. Of course I can't receive any of the other treatments since a traditional oncologist can not do anything natural.
5 weeks after the first GA trip I went back for 2 more weeks of treatment. The doctors in GA added an extra chemo and another item. I had an allergic reaction to one of them and then my red blood count was practically depleted. What was to be my last day in GA I was extremely sick and ended up in the ER with blood levels at critcal level. I was admitted to the hospital and given 3 units of blood. My mother and I drive to GA... but obviously this made my driving home impossible so my dad flew down and helped my mom drive us home.
Now 2 weeks later my blood levels have returned to normal and I will continue with the planned chemo here at home. After this round of treatments I will be scheduled for another PET scan to see what is going on with the cancer.
While I was in GA this last time a friend had a fundraiser at the Pizza Ranch. (There are also 2 more in the works.) In a couple of weeks another friend is having a Brat fry/garage sale for me and a neighbor is working on something too. The donations have definitely helped. Especially since we have a large deductible and out of pocket... and the treatment in GA is being completely denied by insurance. Cancer is a very expensive ordeal.
Thank you all for your prayers and donations. We sincerely appreciate everything! I have been asked to re-post where people can mail donations.
Melanie Decker
C/O Marine Credit Union
P.O. Box 510
Waupun, WI 53963
Also in an earlier post there is a link to my paypal account.
Thank you all again!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Praise The Lord for He is the Great Physician
I am home from Georgia, but will be returning for 2 more weeks of treatment in a couple of weeks.
I had a PET scan last week and had some great news!!! The cancer has shrunk! While receiving treatment here in WI the cancer grew. I have 2 spots in my liver and one in my lung according to Decembers PET scan. They thought the spot in the lung was nothing and would go away, but this new PET scan proved that it indeed is cancer. However, it has shrunk over half!
So in the 6 weeks I was there - 4 of which I had chemo - my cancer shrunk. That is amazing! Glory to God!!!! I and many other's have been praying for God's healing and He has proven His power and might!
Please continue to pray for healing and financial needs. This cost more then we will ever have - between treatment, deductible, out-of-pocket, medicine, and supplements (add onto that healthty food) we are in over our heads but we are trusting the Lord to provide!
I had a PET scan last week and had some great news!!! The cancer has shrunk! While receiving treatment here in WI the cancer grew. I have 2 spots in my liver and one in my lung according to Decembers PET scan. They thought the spot in the lung was nothing and would go away, but this new PET scan proved that it indeed is cancer. However, it has shrunk over half!
So in the 6 weeks I was there - 4 of which I had chemo - my cancer shrunk. That is amazing! Glory to God!!!! I and many other's have been praying for God's healing and He has proven His power and might!
Please continue to pray for healing and financial needs. This cost more then we will ever have - between treatment, deductible, out-of-pocket, medicine, and supplements (add onto that healthty food) we are in over our heads but we are trusting the Lord to provide!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Further Treatment
Hello everyone,
I am in GA receiving treatments. This is my fifth week here. It has been crazy busy and alot of side effects and stuff to deal with so I haven't been on to update! Figured I better get an update on here so you all know what is going on.
We made the decision last minute to come fore the first 6 week course of treatment. The Lord provided a backup plan for payment through our credit card. Although we did not want to go into debt with the credit card we figured it was the only way we could do it. However, for this first round the Lord has seen fit to provide almost all of the needed money. It has been a huge blessing to see God provide through you. other friends. my church family, and perfect strangers!
We were able to get into the Hope Lodge which provides us with free housing, laundry facilities, and great company with other cancer patients. Praise the Lord for his continued provision and guidance.
I will not know if this treatment is working until we get a PET scan in a couple weeks. If it has stayed the same or shrunk then it is working. I am praying that is the case. Since my original oncologist has given me no options besides chemo until it doesn't work anymore or my body shuts down I really need for this option to work.
While I have been here my tumor markers have gone down. I have had some problems with my health and White Blood Count going down, but otherwise not too bad. Can't wait to feel like normal again. Unforuntately my hair is again falling out but I am praying it only thins this time.
Thank you all again for your prayers and donations. Thank you for being such a huge blessing to me!
I am in GA receiving treatments. This is my fifth week here. It has been crazy busy and alot of side effects and stuff to deal with so I haven't been on to update! Figured I better get an update on here so you all know what is going on.
We made the decision last minute to come fore the first 6 week course of treatment. The Lord provided a backup plan for payment through our credit card. Although we did not want to go into debt with the credit card we figured it was the only way we could do it. However, for this first round the Lord has seen fit to provide almost all of the needed money. It has been a huge blessing to see God provide through you. other friends. my church family, and perfect strangers!
We were able to get into the Hope Lodge which provides us with free housing, laundry facilities, and great company with other cancer patients. Praise the Lord for his continued provision and guidance.
I will not know if this treatment is working until we get a PET scan in a couple weeks. If it has stayed the same or shrunk then it is working. I am praying that is the case. Since my original oncologist has given me no options besides chemo until it doesn't work anymore or my body shuts down I really need for this option to work.
While I have been here my tumor markers have gone down. I have had some problems with my health and White Blood Count going down, but otherwise not too bad. Can't wait to feel like normal again. Unforuntately my hair is again falling out but I am praying it only thins this time.
Thank you all again for your prayers and donations. Thank you for being such a huge blessing to me!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
New Medical Options
I am looking into - or rather really want go to - this clinic in GA that might really be able to help me... much better then the year my dr is giving me. The head doctor there is a christian and is willing to cut me a deal - my insurance will not cover treatment. He will charge me $3000 a week plus any supplements and tests that need to be ran (or if there are any complications)
The first course is 6 weeks ($18,000 for treatment alone)
then 6-8 weeks later I would return for 2 weeks
3 months later back again for 2 weeks
(if those 3 months went well)
then back every 3 months for a 2 week course of treatments for a year
then every 6 months for 2 years... as you can see it will be really expensive.
I have some friends who are going to try to raise funds for me and have asked me to post where people can send money
For anyone who is wanting to donate towards this you can send it to
Melanie Decker
C/O Marine Credit Union
P.O. Box 510
Waupun, WI 53963
thank you all for your prayers and help
The first course is 6 weeks ($18,000 for treatment alone)
then 6-8 weeks later I would return for 2 weeks
3 months later back again for 2 weeks
(if those 3 months went well)
then back every 3 months for a 2 week course of treatments for a year
then every 6 months for 2 years... as you can see it will be really expensive.
I have some friends who are going to try to raise funds for me and have asked me to post where people can send money
For anyone who is wanting to donate towards this you can send it to
Melanie Decker
C/O Marine Credit Union
P.O. Box 510
Waupun, WI 53963
thank you all for your prayers and help
Monday, November 29, 2010
Time Line
At my doctor appointment last Tuesday I asked my doctor why she was pushing so hard to get me into this study. She told me that she felt that it had the chance of giving me an extra 6 months... I was confused by that. I thought we were still looking at the option of cure?!? So I asked her what she meant. She told me that this study has shown improvement and up to 50% of those treated. Some had control of the disease for 6 months. I asked her what happens after the 6th month. She then told me that we would then start on another chemo (the one I'm on now) and use that for 4 to 5 months - or until it stops working on the cancer. Then we would move down the line to next chemo which would work for less time - etc....
Pretty much there is not hope for a cure now. Just trying to control the cancer as long as we can to give me the longest possible life. I asked her how long she thought that would be... she told me that before my last PET scan she thought I'd be lucky to make it to this Christmas... she thought during radiation when I could not have chemo that the cancer would spread like wildfire... But it didn't. As far as we can see it only spread to another spot in the liver and a spot on the pelvic bone. But this spreading is what makes a cure impossible. They can not control it and can not remove multiple spots. She said if she can get me into this study and give me the other chemos they have after she feels I have a year.
This was not what I was expecting... I knew I didn't have forever, but I thought I had a couple of years at least. I had no idea it could be so little. Of course my cancer may react different than others and may grow slower or may stop on the meds better.. or God may choose to perform a miracle. (However, although I am praying for the latter I am pretty sure His answer will be the same as it has throughout all of this a big fat NO.. yes I know that sounds like no faith and anger... it is anger, but I do have faith. I also am a realist. If He has said no all this time and allowed it to come back so many times that it is to the point of incurable why would he chose to change His mind now.) Who knows maybe He will. Maybe He wanted it to be more dramatic.... who can know the mind of God? Definitely not me.
My husband and I are definitely discouraged and sad and angry.... Dean more then I. He said yesterday that he feels there is no God... that obviously there is no one up there listening to him.... I know better then that. I just know that God has made no promise to heal me.... although He did say "If you ask anything in my name that will I do" I have been asking and He is not doing.... I just feel like maybe He should have clarified that more because obviously He will not do everything you ask.
I am trying to prepare for my death... more so prepare Mackenzie for a future without me. WHICH IS SO HARD! I am her mommy. She is my baby. I am supposed to be here for her intil she no longer needs me.... and she still needs me!!! I am trying to leave a piece of me with her so that she can know me. She is too young to remember me, but if I can leave her scrapbooks and videos and letters then maybe she will know her mommy and know that I loved her so much I fought to stay with her.
I also am trying not to think about dying..,. I tend to separate myself from it all and talk about it like it is someone else and not me... I don't know why I do this it just happens... but I don't think I'd be able to make it through if I didn't go into this "mode". Dean is having a very hard time. He is a negative personality to begin with so this has made him 300x's worse. He is never happy about anything and unfortunately it just makes things harder on me and Mackenzie.
Pray for Dean. He will be left behind with a toddler to take care of on his own. He will have to figure out how to juggle work and babysitter for kenzie and still take care of things around the house that need to get done.... he also likes his alone time... without me here to take care of kenzie he will have to find someone to give him that alone time. Whether it be to work in the garage or go hunting...
Pray for me... it hurts to not have the support of my husband, but I don't think he can give it to me. He is angry and hurt and feels if he is there for me it will hurt him more later. But I need him for comfort... at the sametime I understand his not wantint to be hurt more... but the middle time is difficult.
Pray for Mackenzie who knows something is wrong and is hurting along with is but does not understand why. Pray that when I pass Dean can be the daddy he needs to be for her and lover her and cherish her extra to make up for the love I can no longer give her.
Pray for a cure... maybe God will change his mind.. maybe it's just our prayers He has chosen to not answer for some reason... maybe your added prayers to our continued prayers will convince Him. Or maybe the rapture will happen and I won't have to worry about it.!!
Pray for peace and understanding for me and Dean both.
Pretty much there is not hope for a cure now. Just trying to control the cancer as long as we can to give me the longest possible life. I asked her how long she thought that would be... she told me that before my last PET scan she thought I'd be lucky to make it to this Christmas... she thought during radiation when I could not have chemo that the cancer would spread like wildfire... But it didn't. As far as we can see it only spread to another spot in the liver and a spot on the pelvic bone. But this spreading is what makes a cure impossible. They can not control it and can not remove multiple spots. She said if she can get me into this study and give me the other chemos they have after she feels I have a year.
This was not what I was expecting... I knew I didn't have forever, but I thought I had a couple of years at least. I had no idea it could be so little. Of course my cancer may react different than others and may grow slower or may stop on the meds better.. or God may choose to perform a miracle. (However, although I am praying for the latter I am pretty sure His answer will be the same as it has throughout all of this a big fat NO.. yes I know that sounds like no faith and anger... it is anger, but I do have faith. I also am a realist. If He has said no all this time and allowed it to come back so many times that it is to the point of incurable why would he chose to change His mind now.) Who knows maybe He will. Maybe He wanted it to be more dramatic.... who can know the mind of God? Definitely not me.
My husband and I are definitely discouraged and sad and angry.... Dean more then I. He said yesterday that he feels there is no God... that obviously there is no one up there listening to him.... I know better then that. I just know that God has made no promise to heal me.... although He did say "If you ask anything in my name that will I do" I have been asking and He is not doing.... I just feel like maybe He should have clarified that more because obviously He will not do everything you ask.
I am trying to prepare for my death... more so prepare Mackenzie for a future without me. WHICH IS SO HARD! I am her mommy. She is my baby. I am supposed to be here for her intil she no longer needs me.... and she still needs me!!! I am trying to leave a piece of me with her so that she can know me. She is too young to remember me, but if I can leave her scrapbooks and videos and letters then maybe she will know her mommy and know that I loved her so much I fought to stay with her.
I also am trying not to think about dying..,. I tend to separate myself from it all and talk about it like it is someone else and not me... I don't know why I do this it just happens... but I don't think I'd be able to make it through if I didn't go into this "mode". Dean is having a very hard time. He is a negative personality to begin with so this has made him 300x's worse. He is never happy about anything and unfortunately it just makes things harder on me and Mackenzie.
Pray for Dean. He will be left behind with a toddler to take care of on his own. He will have to figure out how to juggle work and babysitter for kenzie and still take care of things around the house that need to get done.... he also likes his alone time... without me here to take care of kenzie he will have to find someone to give him that alone time. Whether it be to work in the garage or go hunting...
Pray for me... it hurts to not have the support of my husband, but I don't think he can give it to me. He is angry and hurt and feels if he is there for me it will hurt him more later. But I need him for comfort... at the sametime I understand his not wantint to be hurt more... but the middle time is difficult.
Pray for Mackenzie who knows something is wrong and is hurting along with is but does not understand why. Pray that when I pass Dean can be the daddy he needs to be for her and lover her and cherish her extra to make up for the love I can no longer give her.
Pray for a cure... maybe God will change his mind.. maybe it's just our prayers He has chosen to not answer for some reason... maybe your added prayers to our continued prayers will convince Him. Or maybe the rapture will happen and I won't have to worry about it.!!
Pray for peace and understanding for me and Dean both.
Monday, November 22, 2010
What now?
I am starting chemo again tomorrow. One I've not been on - it is for cancer that has spread and is used not as a cure but to maintain the cancer and try to give me a longer life. Although my doctor said her goal is still a cure... I don't know if that is still possible but we can hope and pray.
I was supposed to be having reconstruction surgery in the next couple weeks... of course that is out with the cancer back and having just had radiation and now starting chemo. Unfortunately, it is not only postponed (again) but now it is out of the question forever. I was really looking forward to looking somewhat normal again and now I have no hope of that.
My doctor is trying to get my insurance company to cover a study (T-DM1) It is the medication I am on (which has not worked) mixed with another drug that is supposed to target the gene and take the drug directly to it and kill it. I am not really sure how i feel about the study right now. The consent form states some of the siedeffects and there were a few deaths... I am pretty sure my insurance will not cover it and if it doesn't then that takes the decision right out of my hands.
Either way I will begin chemo tomorrow. I am not willing to wait any longer and allow this cancer any extra chances at spreading more then it already has.
I was supposed to be having reconstruction surgery in the next couple weeks... of course that is out with the cancer back and having just had radiation and now starting chemo. Unfortunately, it is not only postponed (again) but now it is out of the question forever. I was really looking forward to looking somewhat normal again and now I have no hope of that.
My doctor is trying to get my insurance company to cover a study (T-DM1) It is the medication I am on (which has not worked) mixed with another drug that is supposed to target the gene and take the drug directly to it and kill it. I am not really sure how i feel about the study right now. The consent form states some of the siedeffects and there were a few deaths... I am pretty sure my insurance will not cover it and if it doesn't then that takes the decision right out of my hands.
Either way I will begin chemo tomorrow. I am not willing to wait any longer and allow this cancer any extra chances at spreading more then it already has.
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